I’m not a fan of Jennifer Aniston, or anything like that, but I recently read something she said, and thought, “You are so right.”
Jennifer fell out with her mother when her mother gave a television interview about their relationship.
This is what Jennifer said:
“As adults, we can’t carry on blaming our parents”.
Are you still blaming your parents for what life’s dishing out to you? Do you blame them for your lack of confidence, for never getting a break, for feeling you don’t fit in, and so on?
I grew up thinking I was inferior to everyone else, I wasn’t worth listening to, that there was something wrong with me.
So I created a survival strategy to get through life:
The more I could hide away, the less chance people would find out how flawed I was.
What a great strategy, hey?
And guess who I blamed for all this?
It was their fault I felt like this because of the childhood they’d given me.
Then the penny dropped.
Nothing they’d done was making me feel I wasn’t as good as others.
I was feeling like that because of my THINKING. From the MEANINGS I’d created around my childhood memories. Eg. all those times my Mum didn’t listen to what I was saying when I was growing up… meant I wasn’t worth listening to.
With a mind-blowing clarity, I saw my feelings of worthlessness had NOTHING to do with my parents. They had EVERYTHING to do with my thinking and the meanings I was innocently creating around events that had happened in my life.
This led me to make a life-changing decision that has changed EVERYTHING for me.
I decided to take 100% responsibility for how I felt about myself because my feelings were being created 100% by me, by my thinking.
I took responsibility WITHOUT blaming myself.
No more blaming anyone including myself. Ever. Again.
Now I don’t waste headspace blaming my parents for what’s showing up in my life. They did the best they could, given their thinking.
With all that extra headspace, I get to focus on myself, on my personal growth, just by clearing out made-up meanings that were keeping me stuck.
How about you?
What do you blame your parents for?
Or are you ready to free up lots of headspace by taking 100% responsibility for your feelings and everything that’s going on in your life?
It’s your choice.